A Song Parody for the Chronically Overwhelmed

Watch Me Stress (Now Watch Me Nae Nae)

Lyrics

You already know who it is...
Anxiety. Anxiety. Anxiety.
Gonna petrify me.

Now watch me stress
Now watch me freak out
Now watch me panic, panic
Watch me lay down

Now watch me stress
Watch me freak out
Now watch me panic, panic
Watch me lay down

Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

Hyperventilate (faint)
Hyperventilate (faint faint)
Hyperventilate (faint)
Hyperventilate (faint faint)

Now hug your legs (hug 'em, hug 'em)
Hug your legs (hug 'em, dog)

calm calm calm calm calm calm calm calm calm
Now watch me…
calm calm calm calm calm calm calm calm calm

Therapist’s Corner

This parody wasn’t written to minimize what you’re going through—it’s here to humanize it.

Songs have always been written about love, joy, grief, heartbreak, and everything in between. Music connects us because it tells the truth—and the truth is, anxiety is real. It’s human. And sometimes, it needs a beat.

So how could I not, as a therapist and aspiring songwriter, turn iconic songs into parodies about the very real experiences I see and hold every day?

If anxiety has ever hijacked your breath, your day, your sense of safety—you are doing a phenomenal job of being human.

Humans adapt to survive, but not all environments are worth adapting to. Maybe that’s why we’re social creatures, wired for connection—not isolation. Maybe that’s why “I get by with a little help from my friends” still hits like a truth bomb.

When you feel anxious, your body is doing exactly what it was designed to do: protect you. If the threat seems invisible to others, that doesn’t mean it’s not real. Your brain has learned from experience. Your body remembers real things that really happened, whether we consciously recall them or not. That deserves compassion, not correction.

Here’s the thing: we don’t get anxious about things we don’t care about.
Anxiety is a signal that something matters.
So instead of silencing it, maybe we can listen with curiosity. What is it trying to tell you? What part of you needs comfort?

Personally, when I feel that rising anxiety, I try to imagine myself comforting the part of me that’s scared— I don’t tell it to go away or be quiet, or take it as evidence that I’m crazy. I affirm it, believe it and ask what it is trying to tell me about myself or my environment. It helps more than logic ever could.

From the Creator

This is part of a series I’m calling:
Songs for the Sympathetic (Nervous System)

Because if your body’s ever gone into fight/flight over a calendar notification, this one’s for you.